Waiting Hearts

Infertility.  It is a word that has the ability to crush the dream of parenting, stir the emotion of inadequacy and trample the spirit of a woman.  Infertility was my indescribable ache.

The journey is lonely. From the Christian perspective of infertility there are questions unending.

Do I pray enough?
What am I doing wrong?
Why is God not listening?


The isolation of infertility is overwhelming.  I know what it is like to be the only couple in the room without children.  We have been the family to miss t-ball seasons, skip birthday parties and pass up another year of kindergarten, the list of isolating events goes on.  People want to understand but it is impossible to relate  unless you have walked the same path.  The prayers, support and encouragement from friends, family and church members help, but the grief of infertility is so deep it takes the Father himself to soothe the ache of the waiting heart.

Infertility has the ability to break you.  It dares to crush your dream of parenting. Infertility has the audacity to control your thoughts, your plans, your life.

Listen, my Sister, infertility will NOT destroy you!  There is victory, healing and there is hope in the journey.  I will not lie to  you and say that the journey is easy, it is painful and full of anguish, but set your sights on Jesus!  Through the pain you can choose to become stronger, more wise and better.  Pray for strength, understanding and rest...but most of all ASK your Heavenly Father for the desires of your heart and wait patiently for Him, be still and trust.  Seek earnestly and pray like never before.  Our God hears your prayer, he knows your heart and he has an answer just for you.

LESSONS IN THE JOURNEY

My journey was long and difficult but I can see where the hands of God were working all things together for my good...for His glory.  Infertility shaped me, strengthened me, it gave me a testimony.  Infertility shone light on God's faithfulness and provision, it forced me to wise up to the sovereign plans of my Savior, and not the fleeting plans of my own!  Infertility took my marriage and refined it, made it sweeter, we found deep joy in our relationship and made new plans and  bigger dreams.  My husband and I grew strong in our heartache.  Infertility taught me contentment.  I was a student  learning about the sovereignty of an Almighty God!

Infertility was a broken season for me, I grew weary but around every corner was a glimpse of God's faithfulness, his healing and his love.  My faith increased as I held tight to my Savior.  I believe infertility broke me for HIS purpose, for HIS glory.  My uncomfortable journey was not about me at all, it was all about my Jesus.

Just Call Me Mommy!

It is funny how 5lbs 4oz can come in like a whirlwind and ransack your heart.  In one moment all of our prayers and tears came full circle with the gift of  ADOPTION!  Can I just say that the joy of being a Mommy to my precious baby could not be sweeter.  He is growing up so fast and I savor those little moments of not so long ago.  Rocking him to sleep.  Midnight feedings.  Making up sleepy songs.  Our prayers were answered in the most miraculous, amazing way!  Through the laughs and tears of my child I am reminded every minute of everyday of the goodness of my God and just how much HE loves me!

BELIEVE FOR YOUR MIRACLE

If you are reading this and traveling that long road of infertility, you are not alone!  As isolated and lonely as you feel there are MILLIONS of women who are on this journey with you.  No words can ease the ache, so I simply say to you, BELIEVE my love.  Hold true to the Word of God and know that HIS WORD does NOT return void!  Every prayer that you are crying out is being heard.  Every tear that falls is not in vain.  He hears your prayer and He sees your heart.  Do not become bitter, become better, stronger and more wise in the things of Christ.  Find peace and rest at the feet of your Savior and wait upon the Lord.  You are the daughter of the MOST HIGH GOD and he has a plan for you...for your good and for His GLORY!


MINISTERING
TO THE WAITING HEART

1.  Unless you have first hand experience PRAYER is the most effective, most needed act of love.

2.  Infertility treatments are extremely expensive.  If you have the financial ability, offer to assist in the medical cost or organize a fundraiser within your church family.   Most health insurance does not cover the cost of infertility treatments.

3.  GRACE.  Holidays are hard.  Baby Showers are torture.  Birthday parties, sporting events anything that involves babies and young children are painful.  If your friend or family  member does not show up, do not be offended, walk in grace and pray quietly.

4.  Have big ears and a bigger shoulder.  Sometimes the ache gets to heavy to carry and venting helps.  Be prepared to see tears, hear anger, remember that you are ministering to a tired and weary woman.  This is where she needs you to stand with her and hold her up during the battle. 

5.  THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.  I mean this is the kindest most loving way.  "You are trying too hard".  "It will happen, honey."  'Remember the story of Hannah."  Those are just a few of the well meaning words that are the most repeated and become incredibly daunting after years of unsuccessful conception. 

6.  Offer unconditional love, listen intently and pray earnestly.  Show grace.  Infertility meds are hormones and hormones make women crazy...offer lots of MERCY. 

7.  Support the husband.  He is often the one whose needs get left out and he can become isolated.  His heart hurts and longs for a son or a daughter to hold, hug, dance with and wrestle.  The husband's needs are real, offer him a day of fishing, golfing or camping with prayerful men of the church and supporting family members.

8.  ENCOURAGE ADOPTION

There are many ways to help a hurting couple endure the journey.  Be sure to listen to the hearts of the ones you are reaching out to, respect their boundaries and be ready when they need you.  If you know someone who is walking through the trenches of infertility and have questions feel free to send me an email.  I am by no means a counselor, I have not an ounce of professional wisdom but I have walked in those shoes for many seasons.  My heart is tender to the needs of the woman who sits in waiting. 

If you are in the midst of the battle with infertility, I love you...I will pray with you...I will hold you up in your battle!  Find comfort in knowing that others have walked the path before you and others are walking it with you now!  My prayer is that you can  find some encouragement in my testimony.  Let me remind you, His plans are good for you and your God is faithful.

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There is to much about me for this little space. I think big and dream bigger. I love people. I love family. I love to be loved. I am a wife, mother, sister, Meme and friend. I am a believer in the Christ Jesus, I worship him and him alone. I am amazed at my abundant blessings and take each day as it comes. My life is a gift and I am forever grateful.

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